• Nineteen Magazine

10 Questions Twins Are Tired Of Hearing

Updated: Sep 4, 2020

I'm a twin. Everyone I know has asked me these questions. Trust me when I say they're annoying.

Are you identical? (When You're Clearly Not)

I think people honestly don't know what it means to be identical and what it means to be fraternal. Identical twins look almost exactly alike. This means the average person will have difficulty telling them apart. Fraternal twins may look alike, but no more than any two other siblings. It won't be as hard to tell them apart. Also, if you are asking a set of boy-girl twins if they are identical, I'm not sure where the disconnect is, but they are not. Girl-boy twins are never identical.

Do You Have Twin Telepathy?

I wish, but no. Sometimes this question can be kind of funny, but it also can make twins feel like they are some sort of weird science experiment. We'd prefer it if you asked about our individual interests and personalities rather than asking a question about twin telepathy.

What's It Like Being A Twin?

There is nothing offensive about this question, but it's annoying because we get asked it so often. It's also really hard to answer. Every twin has been a twin their entire life, so they know no different. Asking a twin what it's like to be a twin is kind of like asking a girl what it's like to be a girl or a boy what it's like to be a boy.

Who's The Smarter One?

Most twins hate being asked questions like this. Whether it's who smarter, funnier, more attractive, or more popular, it doesn't matter. Asking twins to identify themselves as being superior or inferior to their sibling is rude. It's just insulting. Lots of adults also like to ask twins growing up who is the 'good' one and who is the 'bad' one. This can make children feel really awkward and embarrassed. Don't ask a question like this. Plus, there is no 'good' one or 'bad' one. Every kid does a mix of good and bad things.

Who's Older?

In my opinion, this question is inappropriate and irrelevant. We are the same age. We have the same birthday. We were conceived at the same time. When you ask who's older. you're just asking who came out first. That's weird. Also, people immediately stereotype the older one as the more mature and responsible, and the younger one as more reckless and fun. I don't think I have to explain to you why these stereotypes are ridiculous, but you should know that sometimes twins feel a weird pressure to live up to them.

Do You Dress Alike?/ Why Don't You Dress Alike?

Expecting twins to dress alike or being surprised that they don't is an insult to a twin's own unique individuality. Both identical and fraternal twins develop their own personalities and interests so you should expect that they would have different senses of styles.

Have You Ever Switched Places?

If we did, we wouldn't tell you. But in all seriousness, life is not The Parent Trap. A trick like this may work on the Disney Channel, but something tells me it wouldn't be as funny in real life.

Why Doesn't Your Twin Study/Work Here?

What an insightful question. Just kidding. But believe it or not, this is a question I have been asked *lots* of times at college and at various different places I've worked. I never know quite how to respond. My twin has different interests and skills than I have, so obviously she is going to choose different jobs and schools that are uniquely suited to her talents.

Where Is She/He?

A spin-off of "why doesn't your twin work/study here?", this question is equally, if not more strange. Usually, I have a vague idea about where my twin is. but I'm not going to tell you. That's creepy. Although I do realize when people ask this question, they don't typically aren't trying to be stalkers. They are just curious to find out more about what my twin does and form an idea of who she is in their mind. Kids and young teens are the most likely to ask this question, so it's really not offensive, but it is kind of funny.

Do You Do Everything Together?

While some twins are virtually joined at the hip and wouldn't want to do anything without their 'built-in' bestie, most twins enjoy being their own people, have their own friends, and do many things without their brother/sister. That doesn't mean there is any shortage of love though!


Thanks for taking the time to educate yourself on questions twins are tired of being asked! As a twin, I can say that I would prefer getting asked other questions sometimes, but no worries if you can't control your curiosity and feel the need to ask one of the above q's. Out of necessity, twins learn patience earlier than singletons, so we can handle it.

#twins #questions #siblings

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